life has gone on for too long without a plan. days go by in monotone. no real ups, no real downs. not leading nor being led. not slowing down but not in a rush as well... and now i fear i'm getting anxious again about what to do with my life.

but people keep telling me to be happy bout the little things. take for instance, the sporadic moments of pride from getting things done, hangin with my buds, 5 min online sketches, the temporary bliss of pay day. the mind keeps on wondering though. it wonders bout the bigger things, the ideals i thought i embodied once before and the goals i thought i'd reach by this point in my life. all of which i always believed were for the betterment of my being. but so many things impose themselves on you... social structures, pragmatism... so much so that you're practically robbed of all free will to make these life choices, the ones you think would make you happiest.

the point i have been pondering over of course is, when life sets you in a cage, do you make the best of what you have in there? or do you look for a way out? but for tonight, i cant be bothered to put any more thought into this. because, as you've already read, i'm told that there are many things that i should be happy about. all the little things. and thus, i comply, for the moment...
till next time, my dear diary... right now, youtube beckons